saoxcore

MY SCHOOL PICS

Thu, 05 May 2005 00:34:16 GMT

first?

second?

third?

fourth?(LOL@ear piercing

fifth

-no 6th, i was in a private school and it was like 50 to get pics so my mom didnt do it-

seventh

eigth

-mid-late 8th grade i started growing my hair out. at the end of 8th grade i got a HORRID haircut, so i cut it in the summer, and so in this 9th grade pic this why it's still reasonably short-

and, in 9th i didnt get actual pics, so i just took a pic of my ID.

ninth

and just for giggles and laughs, heres some pics of me before 1st grde, or just going in first grade

my dog emily that i used to have

this was in cali

there. rofl@i was so ugly

OH. sorry about the lines on the pics, the light thru the blinds showed up.

i hate immature people...

Sun, 24 Apr 2005 07:24:08 GMT

yeah, it's hypcritical, and everyone is immature, but it's the idiotic immaturity. like when people laugh at '69' or just stupid stuff like that. and i dont know why people dont know when to be serious, or not. i know people can sometimes screw up sometimes, and i have too, but freaking a. sorry, but watching a video of two girls beating the crap out of eachother, and one girl falling to the ground trying to cover her face is NOT funny. i dont know, kids are dumb. lolz@hypocrite.

My shirt.

Wed, 13 Apr 2005 00:37:10 GMT

MY FIRST SHOW. WHO SAYS UNDEROATH SUCKS?

Tue, 12 Apr 2005 08:04:53 GMT

you guys suck.

'the new singer cant scream' bullcrap. he screamed the whole freaking time, just like the old guy; even better.

heres how my whole day went with foxay03 and krazykeri from buddypic.com

okay, so sheri and keri and a friend they brought (sky, a guy) picked me up at fred meyers, it was a little awkward at first, but then we went into the car and we started talking about bands and things. they only had a radio so we were ghetto at first...then we picked up another girl. she.was.so.pretty. seriously, omgah. then we went to skys house to get a car adapter and crap, and we played the fall of troy, i sung ashlee simpson, and etc. we got lost a few times because keri and sheri were planning on picking up others ,but that didnt happen, so we sort of went back and forth. i was in the back, sheri was in the back, the other girl was in the back (christian i think) sky was in front, and of course keri was in front. we drove most of the time, then we go to the show. i have never seen so many scenesters in my life...i mean so many HOT ones. holy crap. anyway, the line was all around the block, i think the show sold out. it was so cold, we got there at like 4:30 pm, and the doors open at 6:00 pm, sheri and keri had some friends that were almost in the very front of the line, so we were one of the first in...i also met some cool people.

the place was really small, to what i had in mind. i heard it could fit like 750 people, but the place looked like it could fit no more then 400 or so. the first thing i did when i got in was go with sheri to the merch stand.. hopesfall had some cool shirts and everything, but i wasnt too big on them, i wanted a fbtmof track jacket but i only had 18 dollars..so i got a chariot shirt..15 dollars.

anyways, i put the shirt on, and went back down to the front (theres basically two floors.. the higher floor had seating and a lot of people were there, a indent in the ground, i guess for moshing, and then sides, etc)

the first band that played was fear before the march of flames. good band, they were really energetic and seemed like cool guys.. i however didnt care for them...at all. they were too chaotic for me, and i had no idea wtf the singer was saying.. they played some old songs and some new..surprsingly the crowd was pretty calm. a few shoves here and there, but very calm from what i had expected (i was in the front, with only a couple of people in front of me, so i still had people behind me getting hit from the moshig instead of me lol)..they played for 30 minutes.. 6/10 i'd say.

next band played..hopesfall. they were actually pretty dang good. great stage presence, too. pretty cool guys they played 'the bending'. AMAZING. holy crap that song was done almost perfect. they played another old song or two, and other songs like 'icarus' and such. one person stuck his finger out to the singer, and the singer connected fingers with him..then everyone else did it, it was a pretty cool thing, there was more shoving and pushing compared to FBTMOF, esp. during 'the bending'..good band. 9/10 i'd say.

next band played.. the chariot. rofl. this was... crazy. the lead singer had a gay haircut. and he was a lot chubbier then i thought. he kept running around the stage, and juggling water bottles..his talking voice was so freaking high.. a very good stage presence, they were messy and choatic, but it's the chariot. they played better then i thought... the lead singer stage dived a few times and when they had a breakdown, oh my god. tons of people stage diving when its not aloud, pushing, shoving, ah. chaos. 7.8/10

last band; underoath. this band got the most hype and played 40 minutes, when the others played 30. oh my god were they good. by this time it was soooooo hot in the venue, so i felt sick from being so hot, so i sat down for a few minutes, the band had great stage presence and they rocked so freaking hard, they played 'i got 10 friends and a crowbar' (one of my favorite songs) and spencer (thats the lead singers name, right?) he was so great. the whole band was great.. the guitarist stage dived, and pretty much climbed everywhere, of course as seen on videos the keyboardist bangs his head back and forth so freaking fast, to the softest parts of the song..his keyboard fell down. lol i didnt see much of the band, since i kept getting really hot and felt sick, so i'd go sit back down often..they played a couple old songs like 'angel below' LOL@PEOPLE SAYING SPENCER CANT SCREAM. HAHAHAHAHH he freaking aced that song. after sheri, keri, sky and i got to talk to the keyboardist, he was so freaking nice, a really cool guy... 10/10..more like 9/10 since i kept getting really hot. heh.

after we grouped up and went to taco bell. lollololo we went through the drive-thru and the taco lady sounded so dumb, after that we hung out in the parking lot and went to sheri/keri's friends house for something..we really didnt know what we were doing, and so i just prank called people. then sheri/keri drove me home.

i still cant believe i was so scared of dying, the show was tons calmer then i expected ( even though i got pushed/shoved/almost fell down more then a couple of times) it was great. the music was pretty loud, not as loud as i imainged and i thought i'd go deaf, but not even close.

the end.

omgz MONKEYZ!1

Fri, 08 Apr 2005 03:26:03 GMT

k. i hate how people are always like 'omg, i wish i was you. i wish i didnt have to go to school' its freaking idiotic. i'd do anything to go back in time and not miss school. i really shouldnt of screwed up in 9th grade. now i have to go to summer school, then work my butt off in 10th. it was a really dumb choice to skip and miss school. i wasnt very happy with how i looked when going to school, and now that i look tons better, in my opinion, i really want to go back. but not just because of that aspect, but because i want a life, and i'm really sick of going on buddypic.com. i hung out with a friend for like, 1-2 hours... and after i did, i got back on buddypic.com... and i just thought 'how stupid this site is. i REALLY dont care what these people think, nor say.' i'm just on the site for so long/much and i get to know these people, i for some reason start thinking i really DO like them. but the the fact of the matter is, i'd forget everyone in a second to hang out with someone in real life for 10 minutes. i dont know. i just need a life again. i really cant wait to go back to school. i can, but i cant. i really dont want to be in a ditch with the work and think 'wtf are they talking about? x divided by z? wtf?' and all that crap. but itll be so fun to socialize again, and for those who remebered me last year, go 'dude. where have you been. omg' but then of course because i look 'scene' ill be sure to get a lot of 'haha, that kids a faggot' comments. chances are itll break me down, since i have no self confidence, but oh well.

this was a useless rant. lolz.

i feel like blabbing more.

Thu, 31 Mar 2005 21:48:08 GMT

im sure through all these entries, i seem like a sad little boy... there are ups and downs.. hardly any ups, but when they happen i guess they're greater because i dont expierence them much.

i just got my ticket to see fear before the march of flames, underoath, hopesfall, and the chariot. i am meeting foxay03, and krazykeri from buddypic.com, i dont know what i'm more nervous about. being deaf from all the distortion from the chariot, going in the moshpit, or seeing the girls. i guess that will be fun. i missed like four shows i wanted to go to previously, so i am happy i finally get to go.

since i'm bored, i feel like writing more about my past, my dad, and my mom.

okay, well today, i started thinking about my dad telling me i might not be his actual child, and that my mom had sex with some other dude. and i was going to bring it up with my mom, but she'd probably lie to me, or tell every person about our talk. so i either have to someday bring it up to her, or just wonder.

anyways, when i was a baby, and my brother was like 5-7 my parents got into drugs. they eventually got hooked up on them, and started selling a lot of crap from the house, to get the drugs. my dad told me (i trust him more than my mom, because it seems from him, its a sense of reality, he doesnt pull crap) that my mom would get violent sometimes. like real violent. and my dad would always go to jail, and my dad/mom would sometimes want to stop taking the drugs, but if they did, they'd have huge ass withdrawels and shake the whole building. this happened for a while... than my mom met this guy i guess, and i guess they had sex(= me being his child, instead of my dad i know) and my mom and dad would just always fight. all their money was gone on drugs (as ive told you), and one christmas, my brother told my dad santa is coming, and my dad almost cried, because he knew my brother would get no presents. christmas day my brother wakes up, runs into my dads room goes "wake up, wake up! its christmas!" he goes to the tree (which my dad stole, so he could have a x-tree) and he see's nothing. my dad starts saying sorry, and my brother goes into his room. for like 1-4 hours. he wraps things up in paper bags, all his favorite things, and gives a present to me, my dad, and my mom. and he goes "look, its christmas, see?" my dad said that was his stopping point for drugs.

one day my dad went to the store, and he came back, found my brother screaming out of his lungs, right in the middle of the street. neighbors next to him were like 'dude, you better leave. get your kid and get out' and my dad discovered my mom in my brothers room absolutely destroying everything, and my brother went out in the middle of the street to run away. eventually, my dad took my brother (he tried to take me too, for my own safety, but for some reason i was hooked on my mom) and he went to washington.

my brother was pretty much destroyed from all the stuff that had happened (i turned out much better, since i was younger and didnt really expierence it all) and he got a computer. he was on the computer 24/7. almost literally. for about 3-7 years. it was crazy, he started missing school, and everything. around when i was 4-7, my mom moved to washington, because family was there. i guess eventually she stopped doing the drugs, maybe she did it off and on after that, i dont know, but, her and my dad got to be friends again, and we visited and shiz at her house. than my dad went online, and found a black girl. they met, started dating, and my dad took my brother, and moved to seattle with her, and her kids. i saw my dad once in the 1-2 years he was there. than, they moved to kentucky, he almost NEVER called, and i never saw him. then my mother started talking to my brother online, through emails, and he moved to washignton, with us. a few months before my bro came out to live with us, my mom found a fire-fighter. she started dating him, things basically moved REAL fast. he bought us a house, a new regriater, you know, the works. unfortunately, they always fought, and my brother and i were there to see it. my brother started getting a life, he got his G.E.D, and joined the US air force, a few months later, the fire fighter my mom was seeing finally moved out, but he let us keep his car, more than half his things, the washer and dryer he bought us and everything. by this time, he was still paying the house bills, and of course he isnt going to pay for something he isnt living in, so he gave my mom a time to move out (which was a good long time to find a place; like 5-7 months) and she found a place. we moved in, and i got on the computer every single day again. (i have been on the computer almost every single day, probably average 4-8 hours since that fire fighter bought us a house..which was in 2002 or so) with all the fighting between her and the firefighter, we stopped going to church, and i stopped having a social life, and i pretty much had my life ruined.

now i am 'homeschooled' (i dont really do anything) and i hate it more than ever, so my brother will be paying for summer school, and ill do that, than go into 10th grade highschool. i'm really scared to though. i have no self esteem, and am highly self concious. but i guess i'll live?

anyways, now you pretty much know my life, and now when people ask about me, i'll just link them. i doubt most of you will read this, but for others who have, now you know i dont always joke around. i DO have another side of me, that most dont bother to release.

i dont like popcorn

Fri, 25 Mar 2005 19:54:44 GMT

i also dont like how my mom says we have no money but yet she hardly wakes up for work.
i also dont like how she didnt finish highschool and got her education, to better my future.
i also dont like how its been a month since she said she'd call the dentist back for braces.
i also dont like how she says we needmore money, but yet she just bought a carton of cancer sticks.
i also dont like how a new habit of hers is seeming to form. alchohol is no fun.
i also dont like how she tries to hide stuff from me, and i ask her about it, and she denies it.
i also dont like how i confronted her if she took pills and she said no, and i asked why did i hear about it on the phone, and why does your friend stop talking to you about it, and she goes 'she found out your uncle does it'...yeah. ok. your best friend is going to stop talking to you, because my uncle.. someone she's probably been near for 4 hours took pills? -_-
i also dont like how my dad, my night be my real dad.
i also dont like how when i want to ask my mom about her and my fathers history, i feel like shes lying to me, or softening the story up.
i also dont like how, because of her choices in life, i'm being limited to way too damn much.

i really cant believe what my mom says no mo'

Fri, 25 Mar 2005 00:17:04 GMT

more than 4 times ive asked for an allowance, and she agreed to it, and i said i'd even do the dishwasher for 3 bucks (3 BUCKS. not much, but that can rack up) and sure, a couple of times she paid me, but then it'd get to th point where i was like 'ok, pay me' and she'd go 'i will later' wtf.

and then the last time i got money was christmas. 200 hundred dollars. i bought a camera, and thought i'd like photography, than i changed my mind, and got a cell...bad move. not only do i like photography now, but my mom hasnt payed me back (when she said she would) and now i hardly get to use the cell. she's always on it, always using the minutes, and whenever i DO get it she tells me not to go over my minutes. i bought the cell. let me have it, dangit.

and then concerts. i'll tell my mom i HAVE to go to ___ on ___. and she goes ok. ill remind her everyday to go buy tickets, and we never do it, and i end up not going.

before this, she told her friend about it and said i couldnt go to seattle and go to a show because its too dangerous. 5 minutes earlier, they said i need to get out. -_-.

and smoking. my mom went to texas to see a guy, and she lied about some things, such as smoking. she said she wouldnt smoke, which would cause her to quit. a week later she comes back, and i see her smoking. not only did she not do what she promised she'd do, but she's done it before, AND when i tell her, 'you're killing your OWN son more than yourself' she still smokes another. she doesnt even seem to want to quit. she get nicorete gum, but of course she still smokes.

and a month ago, i'd tell her something (like my friends do/did drugs. we have a close relationship, i thought i could tell her, eh?) and there she goes blabbing it onto her friends. than she tells the family. and if i go to her friends house all i hear is a topic about drugs, and her stupid idiot kids talking to me about it. and if i do anything/go anywhere with family, i get lectured about it. and same with clothes and everything. i told her to stop multiple times, but she never listened. it finally took me going to my dads, and her going on aim and me talking to her about it on aim, to get her to stop. i hope she reads all this. maybe i should leave it up purposely. whatever.

my first attempt at photography. or whatever the hell i took

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 15:54:00 GMT

first time ever. 40 degrees outside, from 6-7 am. 1.3mp digital camera. when i was thinking about doing this, my main fear was to have the lighting ghey, or have me (or something else, rather) always be the in the center. ..it happend. -_-. And, some of the pictures are really similar. DEAL. + i wish the pics of the lake itself didnt come out so dark. /remebers to use flash. oh yeah. DEAL. (again :D)

i wish i could learn about photography, and get a really good camera, and just take pictures of flowers and what not. too bad i only live by a lake. :/. btw, dont say i look mean in the pics of me facing the sun. IM FACING THE SUN. lolz. kay? im def. not going to have a straight face while my eye is being blinded.

ew wtf@worrying

Mon, 21 Mar 2005 05:27:33 GMT

lolz, i have like no friends right now on here, so i doubt many will read this. tee-hee.
anyway, i always worry when i'm around my mom. sense shes not that rich, we'd like go to the store, and i'd look at things and think to myself "should i spend my moms money on this" and oh god. especially if i buy a cd. ill think about it for like 1-2 weeks before i actually get it. or, if i cook something, and leave it in the sink, i should get ready for a huge sign and a "god damnit" from her. wtfz is that. it's just a dish in the sink. no big deal. dont flip out over it. -_-

+i want to move to oregon. not because of lizzie, well, sort of. but because of my dad too. i like being there, but not for long periods of time without a break. where i live is so boring, and i'm sick of waking up, going on buddypic, eat because i'm bored, go pee a few times, than go to bed. i dont know why oregon would be any different, but whatev.